remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
