she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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