im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
