i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
