so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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