so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
