I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
