i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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