stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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