well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Randomize
