I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
the raccoons are back...
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