You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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