what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
