Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sorry my hands just texted you
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
