Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
