I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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