shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
