If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
