toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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