Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
