my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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