Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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