all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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