yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
