In the future we'll all be gay
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
