she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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