id be glad to
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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