Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have already put on my inside pants.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
