left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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