I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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