Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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