I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
