Can i not drive my cunt home
Just fell off a train. Bad.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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