non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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