If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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