but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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