i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
