I puked a lego.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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