i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
