Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
