It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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