There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
