you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
