well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
