i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
