What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
