you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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