matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Buhtt sex?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
