Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
