I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
